Rizz has been declared the Oxford word of the year. The word defines the viral term, which is short for charisma, as “someone's ability to attract another person through style, charm, or attractiveness.”
I like to call it “star quality” and as quoted by Richard D. Zanuck, American Film Producer, “Star quality is one of the most difficult things to describe. It emanates from the person, and he may not even understand it himself. It's a quality that separates the star from the rest of us.”
What is it that gives some people “rizz” or star quality? Why is it that some people succeed while others don’t live up to their potential? What sets one person apart from others and makes them stand out from a long list of candidates?
The audition process for actors and performers can be gruelling. There are so many people vying for the same role and even well-known superstars will be up against their acting counterparts trying to win a major role. Business owners trying to win clients; job candidates looking for a great role; or even singles in the dating game hoping to meet a partner – everyone in these scenarios faces competition.
To stand out at work, in your business or even in your social life, having appeal and charm will set you apart from the rest of the pack. What is charisma and how do we achieve it? Is it really an elusive concept? Or is it even a characteristic that is necessary for success?
Other words to describe charm and charisma are personality, appeal, captivation, allure, fascination and having the X factor or star power. Wow that seems like a tall order and one that us mere mortals can only imagine.
Perhaps those words are really words that can be used to define someone who is totally confident and comfortable with who they are and not afraid to share it. I believe that it is possible to acquire the necessary characteristics to sufficiently captivate people’s attention to stand out on your chosen stage.
Today I’m sharing six tips on how to charm and let your personality shine through. You don’t have to be the most remarkable person in the room; you just have to stand out to those who count.
Pride. Displaying an air of confidence when you walk into a room, meeting or any public situation demonstrates a strong sense of self-esteem. You might not always feel like you are the most charismatic person in the room. In fact, you might think I’m too short, tall, big, small, unintelligent, old, and the list goes on … You are you and you have your own set of accomplishments and strengths. Acknowledge that, remind yourself of past successes and feelings of accomplishment, appreciate the value you bring to others and own your confidence.
Passion. Enthusiasm for what you do, the world around you and being inspired by other people translates into an upbeat, positive person. Who wants to be around a stick-in-the-mud? Your likeability factor will increase if you are passionate about life. There’s lots to appreciate after all and enthusiasm is contagious.
Personal Best. Set high standards for yourself and always show the best side of you. Behaviour and how you interact with people goes towards your reputation and personal brand. You want people talking about you – but you want them talking about you for the right reasons. You might be great at your job but if you are painful to deal with no one will like you. Personal best also means looking the part of the stand out professional you are.
Communication. As a former PR professional, I was taught that communication is always two way. Not just broadcasting your opinions and thoughts but tuning in and listening to others. You have to understand what your customers and clients want and need before you can give it to them. Even in just day to day conversation, listen to others, ask questions and tune in to who they are and their interests. Others will find you fascinating if you show how fascinated you are with what they have to say.
Circle of influence. The oft repeated expression: “You are the sum of the five people you spend most time with” is attributed to American motivational speaker Jim Rohn. Who are the leaders and influencers you admire or feel have charm and allure? Where do they congregate and can you be a member of that network? Join in the community of like-minded, people where you know you belong.
My final tip to unlock your charisma, is to care about others. Showing and demonstrating that you like someone else and that you respect their thoughts and opinions often means that they will like you in return. Of course it is about being genuine. Have you had the experience where someone has invited you to join them for a drink after work just to get to know you and become friends? Or ever had a bunch of flowers from an admirer and all of a sudden your interest in them is piqued? Sometimes we just need to know people care about us and like us. Not giving to get something in return but because we care.
Sue Currie is an image entrepreneur who guides and empowers business leaders and entrepreneurs to have “Spotlight Confidence”. She is passionate about helping professionals elevate their personal and professional brand through her speaking, coaching and training programs on Self-image, Style and Speaking Skills, providing a multi-faceted approach to gain high transformation for her clients.